May 21, 2011
The end of the world. Jesus is coming back in less than an hour. I do hope he picks me! Could the Christians be right this time? We shall see.
Assuming the Christ is NOT on his way here, as we speak, I find it is time for me to befriend my madness - the ADD, the "lostness, ungroundedness and distractedness" of my life - and welcome it into the home of my soul, have tea with it, listen to it's stories and learn it's lessons. My life, my very being is far less problematic than I had once thought. It's an incredible revelation which I've chosen to keep to myself in word and live through action: I AM GOOD ENOUGH. I no longer approach the creation and experience of my life a that of an innately flawed soul trapped within human flesh, which requires endless improvement, fixing and atonement. Instead, I approach my life with a playful and joyous embrace, recognizing the Divine Chrystal of my Heart in it's eternal giving and receiving of rainbow light. It's an immense shift in my internal paradigm and though the words I choose to convey it may come off as rather "New Age", there is no doubt in my mind of it's authenticity, truth and power. For the first time in my life, I believe that I am okay, that I am an expression of the Divinity of all Creation and that there is perfection in that.
This is not to say that perfection is in anyway my goal. Not so. My goal is the total embrace of my multiplicitous humanity, the ability to become fully grounded and present in my body, joined of flesh, spirit, intellect and heart. The only transcendence that I seek is the complete presence of being here, now. Gratitude for my life is no longer an elusive prey, but a genuine friend in my heart. I am blessed, I am thankful, I have received the gifts of my suffering. I remember delight and I am happy.
Aho, Mitakuye Oyasin!
