Creative Action: Days 21 - 30

Take not my silence for inaction.

I have, as a matter of fact, been diligently acting on my goal in a variety of forms.  I have also found myself quite busy and fatigued, thus the lack of report on my progress.

Last week I took a Thai massage intensive that was both invigorating in terms of all the exciting new things I learned and exhausting in terms of the sheer effort of getting there, being there and doing all the said learning.  I simply didn't have the energy or extra room in my head for the kind of reflective pontificating I'm known to sloppily smear all over this blog.

As for this week, I admit, I have less of an excuse.  I've had ample opportunities to get on the computer and update you, my fair (and few) readers, but I've also been grappling with an equally available and far more tempting urge to procrastinate.  As I'm sure you can surmise, Procrastination won.  In my defense, however, I must say that I've been actively recuperating from the intensity of the previous week and I acknowledge the monstrous challenge of "getting back into the swing of things" after such a profound change in my daily life.

All excuses aside, I am happy to announce that I did successfully do something creative on all but two days in the last ten.  Mostly, I've been practicing Old Apple Tree, but I've also penned a few poems, did some catching up in the Bardic Handbook and collected materials to make Brigid's Crosses.  Below are the poems.

The Flow

Where blood flows,

Life flows...

Water moves through it...

working away at her hardened ground.

These wrinkles are rivulets for tears, Sweet One.

Ocean water is my amniotic womb fluid...

so, sing with me, Baby, in the rush of these waves.

The salt makes a buoyant cradle

for our earthen forms.

Let's let Her hold us, Deary.

Let's swim like fish in the currents

all rolled and tumbled into the waves.

The waves that gently expelled us

from our cozy caves.

And we'll flow 

and we'll float

and we'll wade in our wu wei ways.

We never stop swimming, Darling...

in the Flow.

Where blood flows, 

Life flows...

Til we reach that silent pool

where the water is still

and all the saline

has dropped to the bottom.

There - there is no Flow, Sweet One.

There - the Shadow waits.

Dynamo

I once had a cat-friend

who was an owl-friend, too.

She was a knower and a seer,

a furry Bodhisattva,

with orbital jade for eyes

(to penetrate the skin of souls)

Soft and sharp,

her love was fierce

and her will, a massive expanse

beyond her size.

She accompanied me through darkness

and brought me to light

in countless moments in time.

Certainly, she would have eaten me,

had I died,

but that is loyalty in cat eyes.

She has moved on now,

to another world,

where she's all canines and angel wings.

But sometimes I feel her,

my dear friend, 

my owl-cat,

right by my side,

like a bit of her never left,

like she embedded into my soul

something of her stoic resolve

to soften every human heart

one lap at a time.

Creative Action: Day 20 - Story Outline and Mental Processing on Creative Priorities

I had a nice day today.  I started off by making a small breakfast and beginning reading a book on boundaries (I need this, I really, really need this...).  Then I proceeded to vacuum all of the floors in the house, with three different vacuums.  No, I am not a vacuum collector, it's my mother, with whom I'm currently living, who has three for various purposes (upstairs, downstairs and... stairs).  Being the minimalist that I am, I am campaigning for consolidation at the nearest opportunity.  But, I digress.  This is not what I came here to talk about.  Though, I must say, getting this small chore done was hugely satisfying when combined with my successful putting away of laundry and changing of bedding.  You may be laughing, but being pregnant has zapped my energy of late and it is no small feat to achieve small things when one is so tired.  I'm happy to say, that the addition of an iron supplement, which includes B12, Vit. C and a collection of iron tonic herbs seems to have lifted some of my fatigue fog in the last few days.  But, again, I digress.  What was truly nice about this day, aside from the sunshine (which I enjoyed for about 10 seconds this morning) was hanging out at a cafe in Portland and catching up on my reading out of The Bardic Handbook.  Due to my chaotic life and my tendency to lose focus over time, I am way behind.  However, I do intend to catch up over the coming weeks, and I'm determined to finish it against all odds!

Today, I read about storytelling and decided to write the outline for a story that has been developing in my mind since I was a teenager.  I have started the story twice and lost it, twice.  Both times it began in the same way with the same three characters and both times the story began taking slightly different courses based on where I was at in life, but I was never really sure where it was going.  I realized today, that after all these years I finally knew the whole story.  I have finally lived it out.  It is fantasy deeply imbued with archetypal and symbolic narrative as much as it is mythopoeic autobiography.  Basically, the whole thing is a metaphor for the initiation from childhood to adulthood, weakness to strength, co-dependence to interdependence.  It is also a story about taking responsibility for one's life and looking deeply into one's shadow via the mirrors cast by others in order to do so.  As I was writing, I saw it as a movie.  It would make a great movie.  So, I'm not sure if I'll write it as a short story or a script.  We'll see. 

After I finished with this exercise, I decided to journal on my creative priorities.  This came about after considering the discussion on the art of storytelling in the Bardic Handbook and having thoughts earlier in the day regarding my plan to sell my guitar in order to get a hammered dulcimer. 

There are many, many creative things that I enjoy doing and many of those, I am good at, but how much time and energy to I really want to devote to all of these things?  If I were to become a storyteller, a singer, a guitarist, a dulcimer player, an actress, poet, composer, dancer, writer, etc, etc., I would surely be a jack-of-all-arts and crafts, but a master of none.  Is that what I really want?  My answer to this is a resounding, NO.  I want to be a master of a craft or two.  I think that's the only way that I'll ever be truly satisfied as a creative person.  But a master of what?  Here's where I often get tripped up.  So, I thought, one of the best ways to identify what you want is identifying what you don't want. 

For example, after considering being a "storyteller," in the sense of sitting by the fire and reciting an epic tale over the course of five nights (or even one that lasts 10 minutes), I decided that really, that's not my cuppa tea.  Now, I love the idea of telling stories, but in a different form.  One that takes on a more pageant-like, musico-theatrical community happening type of quality.  Knowing this, I am not going to bother memorizing a bunch of stories and telling them to friends at parties.  I will however, be happy to learn more songs, practice them regularly and share them with friends at parties.  I would also love to assemble ensembles to put on seasonal pageants on the muddy lawns of public parks for the enjoyment of random park-goers.

Here's another example, in regards to my guitar: after taking lessons and trying to practice regularly for a time, I realized that my heart just wasn't in it.  I just don't like playing the guitar.  Despite being advised to keep all of my instruments, lest I need them someday, I have chosen to sell the guitar, because I don't want to play it.  I want to play a different instrument, for some inexplicable reason, which I've chosen to put my trust in.  Making such a definitive decision has proven to be very liberating indeed.  I don't feel so weighed down by having to learn to play this instrument that happens to be in my possession, just so that I can say, I can.

It's amazing how knowing what one doesn't want, frees one to put greater focus on what one does want.  I am still sorting out some of this, but it's becoming clearer and clearer with the help of these sorts of exercises, just like my spelling is slowly improving with the help of spellcheck.  Yay, for eliminating the endless clutter of modern life and getting down to what really matters!

Creative Action: Days 18 and 19 - Apple Tree Wassail

Yesterday and today I began learning a new song.  It is the Apple Tree Wassail, also known as Old Apple Tree.  The words and music were collected by Cecil Sharp from William Crockford, of Bratton, Minehead according to this helpful website.  Cecil published this and many other songs in his Folk-songs from Somerset in 1904.  I found the song in my new book, Make Merry in Step and Song, which, unfortunately, fails to include such citations.  I like to know as much as I can about the songs I sing, it allows for a richer connection to it's essence.

While I'm still learning about the history and purpose of wassailing in England, I love the idea of singing and making incantations to plants in order to encourage abundance in the future harvest.  This wassailing tradition usually takes place at the New Year, however, I figure it's never too late to offer blessings and well wishes to something that gives back so generously, like an apple tree.  I think I will find one such tree once I've properly learned this song, and practice my wassailing, perhaps with a few friends in tow.  I would also like to record the song and post it on here.  For now, here is an interesting clip on the tradition of wassailing and another clip of the song itself.

Creative Action: Drawings as Promised

This is the piece I did yesterday.  Usually I spend hours and hours on a drawing if it's a larger size... With this, I just didn't feel like putting in the time and effort.  Instead, I decided to have fun with it, finish it quickly and not try to fix any "mistakes".  This is the reason I added the quotation, "Perfection is Sloppy".  Trying to be perfect rarely results in quality.  Embracing a certain amount of chaos is both liberating and allows one to get the job done!

I put the finishing touches on this yesterday, and worked on it the day before.  I started this picture before my Creative Action Plan.  It's not my favorite, but every drawing I do is a practice in curiousness and experimentation, so the fact that I had fun with it is all that really matters.

I drew this in 2011 at some point.  I think it was in October or November, not sure.  I was trying out a little bit of cross-hatching.  It worked okay, but left the main subject looking a little dirty.  I like this picture.  It is whimsical and I like to think that the two characters are friends on an adventure.

Creative Action: Days 13, 14, 15, 16, and 17

Okay!  Finally a minute to share my doings of the last few days.

Saturday, January 28th 

I went to my friends house and enjoyed participating in a talent show!  My friend, her boyfriend and I starred in my original skit entitled, The Ballad of Screamie and Joe-Bob.  This genius mini play in 3 scenes and a reprise was a story about my character Screamie Sage Bush and her very naughty kitty, Joe-Bob Cat.  I wrote it when I was living in Eugene, OR and was participating in theater workshops hosted by No Shame! Eugene.  I never got to see it performed there, so it was very satisfying to have it performed on Saturday!

Here's the synopsis: Screamie finds Joe-Bob tearing up her double wide and listening to goth music (or in her words, godforsaken music of the Devil).  She quickly switches the radio to her country station and hears an advert on the radio for the Cat Whisperer, a reality TV show that is seeking participants in her area!  Screamie immediately calls and is selected to be on the show.
A few weeks later we see Screamie and Lovely Lita Lo, aka the Cat Whisperer and Joe-Bob in front of her double wide.  Lita interviews Screamie and then asks her to leave so that she can get a one on one read with Joe-Bob.  Joe-Bob indicates that he feels caged and wants a new home, but Lita is concerned that his circumstances may not be better elsewhere and so suggests improving his current situation instead.  She offers Joe-Bob two different medications that will help him cope with Screamie and her Elvis loving ways.  The first is prozac and the second is medical marijuana.  Joe-Bob immediately chooses the pot because of it's immediate effects.
Next we see Joe-Bob in the trailer smoking a joint and listening to jazz.  Screamie enters and is deeply chagrined.  Jazz is no better than goth in her opinion.  She attempts to change the music, but Joe-Bob successfully convinces Screamie to partake of the medical marijuana and she quickly relaxes.  Joe-Bob and Screamie begin to cuddle and listen to the music, which as Screamie now says is, not so bad.
At the reprise, we see Screamie and Joe-Bob laying on the floor surrounded by empty food containers.  Now reggae is playing.  They have obviously had way too much pot, in fact, they have finished off Joe-Bob's entire six month supply.  Pathetic though they are, they seem to be getting along better and Screamie closes the scene by declaring, Jah love, kitty, Jah love. 

Sunday, January 29th

I had the great fortune of returning to a favorite activity, ecstatic dance, more particularly, Sacred Circle Dance.  I saw many old familiar faces, met up with a friend from Eugene, and ran into some other friends whilst there.  The joy amongst the dancers was palpable and the DJ served up a very nice musical mix.  It's not very often that I find myself in a place where people are truly letting loose and enjoying themselves (especially without drugs and/or alcohol) and that's what I generally find at this dance event.  Not only that, it's a family friendly atmosphere where little kids weave around adults who are engaged in hypnotic rhythms and sweaty salutations.  It's a safe space to move, watch, and just be.  What a gift to my body, my heart and my spirit!

Monday, January 30th

I confess that I didn't really do anything creative on Monday.  I was tired most of the early part of the day and when I finally got myself going, I had to head to my little tutoring job and then pick up my baby daddy at the bus station.  To be fair, I did have to employ a fair bit of creativity in my tutoring job in order to get the kids to focus.

Tuesday, January 31st

With my baby daddy in town for my first (most likely only) ultrasound, I was distracted with having a fun and healing day with him, so again, not a lot of creative work was done.  I have to say, however, that seeing my baby on the monitor was so cool and very inspiring!  Seeing her little face, fingers, toes, heart and all that cool stuff is just raw material and increased motivation for me to spend more time working on fun creative projects that will benefit her.

Wednesday, February 1st

I worked on a picture, which I'll post once I can get a digital image of it.

Thursday, February 2nd

I completed the picture from Wednesday and drew another one.  I will also post that one once I get an image of it.

So, there it is!  The update.  I hope that I'll do better to keep up from now on!

Creative Action: Really, I Promise!

Today I finished a picture.

I promise I'll update tomorrow!

It will be good.

You will smile a large and Buddha-like smile.

You are welcome.