As the end of my bardic journey is upon me, I realize the need to reassess my vow, yet again. This time, I make a vow that has less detail in terms of specific goals and more relevance to my overall life in terms of the qualities I desire for it.
As may be apparent, I have not met the majority of the goals I set in either of my vows. This is entirely okay with me, because I have attained growth far beyond what these artificial goals would have brought me anyway. It is not the goals that matter, but the growth, so I feel successful. Just being able to feel this way is a big feat and a profound change for me. In the past I would have beat myself up for not meeting my goals, despite the fact that the major events in my life didn't support the attainment of them.
I recently had a great conversation with my step-dad where he pointed out that life was better lived from a growth-oriented perspective, rather than a goal-oriented one. This doesn't mean that we shouldn't set goals for ourselves. What it does mean is that we needn't measure our success by whether or not we met our goals, but by the gifts and lessons we receive from the process of pursuing the goals. This is also something that my dad has been trying to drill into my thick skull for a long time: "It's not the goal, but the journey that counts," (sagely stated with a smirk and a knowing eye-twinkle).
Gosh, I'm so lucky to have such wizened parental units in my life!
So, now, armed with a new wisdom on the workings of a good life, here is my Up-Updated Bardic Vow - no time limit necessary!
I vow to live my life, from this day forward, from the center of my truest self. Every moment, a new moment, allows me to flow effortlessly into exactly what I need, whether I want it or not. I accept this with grace and the complete trust that everything occurs in my life for a reason, known or unknown to me, which will take me in the next moment to the perfect place. I embrace all of the pain and pleasure of living in a body in this world. I vow to fully allow this experience of being to manifest in me, everything that I ever can be, here and now. I surrender to the Great Unknown, the Great Spirit, the Ultimate Creator of this Mystery and partner with it as an active co-creator, to love the life I have, in gratitude and acceptance. Everyday, I create my life, in a wonderous and messy vat of juicy, living chaos. From this day forward, I am a Bard of Life, because life itself is creative. I can do nothing other than build and destroy as part of this epic dance. I am creative everyday because I am an act of creation.
So Be It!
January 24, 2012
Due to unexpected events in my life, I have come to realize the need to amend my Bardic Vow in order to successfully achieve any creative goals under my current circumstances. I imagine that this is something that happens to most creative folks during the course of their practice, experimentation, and inquiry into their arts or crafts. Life has a way of diverting the best laid plans, which I see as yet another opportunity to hone one's creative abilities! If everything always goes as we hope, life would be rather boring. It's those unexpected obstacles that make for really interesting experiences and inspired work. Below is my new set of goals for the remainder of the year. My original vow remains at the bottom of the page for reference purposes!
1. Decide to matter - each and everyday.
2. Complete 30 consecutive days of creative action as stated here.
3. Finish reading The Bardic Handbook by Kevan Manwaring and complete any and all exercises that are relevant to my chosen crafts (and which I realistically have time for).
4. Find and create opportunities to sing in public by (for example) joining song circles, participating in Classical Revolution PDX's chamber jams, answering the call for singers at fundraisers, and sharing songs with friends.
5. Sing with others on a regular basis. If it's looking like the right time, share my vision for "Donum", a three-part women's vocal ensemble in an effort to find the other two women I need to make it happen.
6. Fulfill a childhood dream by selling my guitar and acquiring a hammered dulcimer in it's stead. Then have a love affair with my new dulcimer by practicing diligently and playing it often.
7. Finish writing one lullaby for my new baby before he/she is born.
8. If I have the energy and wherewithal, produce a bardic salon/tea party where I and others perform music, dance, poetry, and/or theater under a chosen theme in the Merry Month of May.
9. Most importantly: participate in one of life's most miraculous and epic creative actions by growing a baby and giving birth sometime in late June or early July!
The Original Vow:
On June 21st 2011, the Summer Solstice at sunset, beneath a sky of fierce pinks, baby blues and juicy peach hues, I claimed my Bardic Chair while standing through the sun roof of a parked golden 1983 Mercedes. I made a promise, with my then partner, the Earth and the Sky as my witnesses, to perform my subsequent work on June 22, 2012, which quite perfectly, turns out to be a Friday. In addition to this initiation ceremony, I have made a further Bardic Vow which gives my work containment. Essentially, these are goals for the year, which will leave me excellently prepared to face that fateful Friday in June 2012. The following is a list of said goals.
1. Work through the Bardic Handbook by Kevan Manwaring, completing all exercises and documenting them in my paper journal and/or this blog.
2. Write 13 songs, with themes drawing from, but not limited to, seasonal shifts, nature, archetypes, myths, and personal experience.
3. Study modern dance forms... and maybe a bit of Flamenco.
4. Start a three-part women's vocal ensemble and performance troupe. Rehearse weekly and perform often.
5. Design and sew a Bardic costume.
Optional:
Audition for and get a part in at least one play or movie.
Host a Bardic/Creativity circle for women.
Produce a Monthly Tea Salon and/or Dark Fae Dance Night.
Wish me Luck!
