I love that I've let myself off the hook. I've removed the pressure to be creative and I'm just letting the urge hit me as it comes. It's no longer about striving for something, no longer about becoming something or proving something. It's about enjoying my life, about exploring and indulging in my curiosities. It's not about perfection, it's not about being good. It's about being real, authentic and being exactly where I am in the moment.
Today, I felt creative. I decided to sing a song and record it in Photo Booth. I didn't like it much cause I don't really know the song and if I'm going to share it, I want to really know it, like a good friend. That way, I can actually introduce it to others, share it, let it show itself through me. Maybe I'll work on it, maybe not. We'll see.
I also got inspiration to take a few pictures of myself in Photo Booth. I don't know anything about photography and obviously the little camera on my computer isn't going to take the highest quality pictures in the world, but I had fun playing with the limited lighting in my room, the back lighting of the window and posing for the camera.
The above picture just happened to come together very nicely. I tried to do variations on it, but I couldn't recreate whatever it was that came through me in those few seconds. It looks so spiritual to me, with the light on my face, looking upwards, hand on my heart. I think it captures a certain energy that comes with being pregnant. This state of being is one of the most physical states one could be in, but concurrently, it is also a very spiritual and emotional state. It's creativity in the most tangible form. I feel like growing this baby puts me in closer contact with my own creator, by putting me so intimately in the role of being a creator.
This is the most important creative project I've undertaken to date and it's only the beginning. It's a project that I am so fully dedicated to and that I know will teach me untold lessons and give me many unexpected gifts. I'm so grateful for being given the opportunity to become a mother. It's something that I've wanted for a long time. I'm curious to see how this new phase in my life will effect my creative path. One thing I'm certain of is that it will help me see my world in a wholly new way and that alone is ripe for discovering new vistas of creative inspiration.
