Creative Action: Day 20 - Story Outline and Mental Processing on Creative Priorities

I had a nice day today.  I started off by making a small breakfast and beginning reading a book on boundaries (I need this, I really, really need this...).  Then I proceeded to vacuum all of the floors in the house, with three different vacuums.  No, I am not a vacuum collector, it's my mother, with whom I'm currently living, who has three for various purposes (upstairs, downstairs and... stairs).  Being the minimalist that I am, I am campaigning for consolidation at the nearest opportunity.  But, I digress.  This is not what I came here to talk about.  Though, I must say, getting this small chore done was hugely satisfying when combined with my successful putting away of laundry and changing of bedding.  You may be laughing, but being pregnant has zapped my energy of late and it is no small feat to achieve small things when one is so tired.  I'm happy to say, that the addition of an iron supplement, which includes B12, Vit. C and a collection of iron tonic herbs seems to have lifted some of my fatigue fog in the last few days.  But, again, I digress.  What was truly nice about this day, aside from the sunshine (which I enjoyed for about 10 seconds this morning) was hanging out at a cafe in Portland and catching up on my reading out of The Bardic Handbook.  Due to my chaotic life and my tendency to lose focus over time, I am way behind.  However, I do intend to catch up over the coming weeks, and I'm determined to finish it against all odds!

Today, I read about storytelling and decided to write the outline for a story that has been developing in my mind since I was a teenager.  I have started the story twice and lost it, twice.  Both times it began in the same way with the same three characters and both times the story began taking slightly different courses based on where I was at in life, but I was never really sure where it was going.  I realized today, that after all these years I finally knew the whole story.  I have finally lived it out.  It is fantasy deeply imbued with archetypal and symbolic narrative as much as it is mythopoeic autobiography.  Basically, the whole thing is a metaphor for the initiation from childhood to adulthood, weakness to strength, co-dependence to interdependence.  It is also a story about taking responsibility for one's life and looking deeply into one's shadow via the mirrors cast by others in order to do so.  As I was writing, I saw it as a movie.  It would make a great movie.  So, I'm not sure if I'll write it as a short story or a script.  We'll see. 

After I finished with this exercise, I decided to journal on my creative priorities.  This came about after considering the discussion on the art of storytelling in the Bardic Handbook and having thoughts earlier in the day regarding my plan to sell my guitar in order to get a hammered dulcimer. 

There are many, many creative things that I enjoy doing and many of those, I am good at, but how much time and energy to I really want to devote to all of these things?  If I were to become a storyteller, a singer, a guitarist, a dulcimer player, an actress, poet, composer, dancer, writer, etc, etc., I would surely be a jack-of-all-arts and crafts, but a master of none.  Is that what I really want?  My answer to this is a resounding, NO.  I want to be a master of a craft or two.  I think that's the only way that I'll ever be truly satisfied as a creative person.  But a master of what?  Here's where I often get tripped up.  So, I thought, one of the best ways to identify what you want is identifying what you don't want. 

For example, after considering being a "storyteller," in the sense of sitting by the fire and reciting an epic tale over the course of five nights (or even one that lasts 10 minutes), I decided that really, that's not my cuppa tea.  Now, I love the idea of telling stories, but in a different form.  One that takes on a more pageant-like, musico-theatrical community happening type of quality.  Knowing this, I am not going to bother memorizing a bunch of stories and telling them to friends at parties.  I will however, be happy to learn more songs, practice them regularly and share them with friends at parties.  I would also love to assemble ensembles to put on seasonal pageants on the muddy lawns of public parks for the enjoyment of random park-goers.

Here's another example, in regards to my guitar: after taking lessons and trying to practice regularly for a time, I realized that my heart just wasn't in it.  I just don't like playing the guitar.  Despite being advised to keep all of my instruments, lest I need them someday, I have chosen to sell the guitar, because I don't want to play it.  I want to play a different instrument, for some inexplicable reason, which I've chosen to put my trust in.  Making such a definitive decision has proven to be very liberating indeed.  I don't feel so weighed down by having to learn to play this instrument that happens to be in my possession, just so that I can say, I can.

It's amazing how knowing what one doesn't want, frees one to put greater focus on what one does want.  I am still sorting out some of this, but it's becoming clearer and clearer with the help of these sorts of exercises, just like my spelling is slowly improving with the help of spellcheck.  Yay, for eliminating the endless clutter of modern life and getting down to what really matters!