{IMPROVED??? VERSION III!}
flowers
bloom and die
to be born again
fragments
fall into love
to be made anew
noises
speak in silence
to become aware
longings
lose substance
to be dreamt awake
everything
is received
in order to give
Living alive is letting go...
I'd like to see you take another shot at this, 2nd stanza in particular didn't work for me. I'd like to see it simplified and more subtle.
ReplyDeleteOkay... I took another crack at the thing. I like it better, but it's still not the best thing ever. A good exercise at least!
ReplyDelete